i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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