Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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