theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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