I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
