I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
