i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
