Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
