Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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