dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
