why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
i think i just lost a toe
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