Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I cut my penus on the lid.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
