should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
