another moral hangover. fuck.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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