So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize