Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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