I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize