fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
