I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
