Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
