dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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