good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
