had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
