chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
