Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
