I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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