Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
