this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Randomize