Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just forgot I was standing up.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize