it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
