This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize