oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I am naked and annoyed.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
