I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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