So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
