I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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