My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
