I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
