you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
