she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
