How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
