It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
