Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
