The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize