He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
