Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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