Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
