I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
