You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
