There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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