where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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