She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
