I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
