i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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