You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
