You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I am naked and annoyed.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
