I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
