My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
