apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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