Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
