i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
