So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
You can't special order awesome
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Enjoy the penises
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
