did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Randomize
