i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
