im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
well you can't waste a boner
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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