i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
