I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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